Guest Blogger: Summer

So my sister-in-law Summer is hilarious, and I love to laugh at her life (you'll soon see why!!). I have decided it's time to have a GUEST BLOGGER over here so I don't bore you to death... if you're still around, that is.

Enjoy your time with Summer...

The tale of Topaz & Sapphire: Jewels of the Feathered Variety

So, if you know anything about me, or my family, this story will not surprise you at all. These things just happen to us. However, I hope the tale inspires you or brightens your day a bit. Go ahead, have a good laugh at my expense.

OK, so it all started a week ago Sunday. Aaron (my quirky and lovely other half) and I dropped our dear whirlwind daughter off at Grandma’s house while we went to Bible study.

So a mere two hours later we return to Grandma’s to pick up the little darling. Were we ever surprised to find Grandma Shell and granddaughter dancing with excitement. Turns out they had “something” to show us. Leading us quickly to the bathroom, we have our “surprise” unveiled to us. It came in the form of a young male parakeet. Quite beautiful, if I don’t say so myself. He is bright turquoise and looks tropical or something. What the heck? Aaron and I asked in unison. Well, it turns out that Grandma wanted to take the wee one to the new school playground to play. So off they went. While they were there, our little “surprise” somehow zeroed in on our daughter (out of the tons of kids playing there), and decided to land on her head. This doesn’t strike me as odd in the least, considering her head is full of curls and (when not brushed well), resembles a big, fat nest.

So, Grandma decides that this parakeet won’t survive in the cold, and they must rescue him. Grandma quickly beckons great Granny (who lives next to the park), to come over with a shoe box. They catch the bird, the bird comes home. And there we are, proud owners of a new little parakeet. I proudly come up with the name of Topaz. Who cares if he’s a boy, right?

OK, next step, find a bird cage. Grandma kindly offers to let Topaz inhabit her bathroom until we find one. So, last Monday I set out to find a reasonably priced cage. What better place than craigslist, right? Right. So, I placed an ad under the ‘Wanted’ section. After a few dozen retarded responses, I finally received one of intrigue. Turns out a woman has a wonderful cage, along with ALL accessories available for free. GREAT! Oh, one catch, am I interested in also taking the little parakeet that comes with it? Hmmm…I can’t turn it down. Free is a very good price. So, once I find out that her parakeet is also a rescue, and is a sweet and tame little female, I can’t resist. Then, she tells me her name is Sapphire. Deal done. Destiny or something.

After much emailing and calling, the time for the rendezvous finally comes. Aaron agrees to meet this woman (a lovely Russian lady by the name of Katharina) on Wednesday. They meet at a Burger King. I just found the whole thing immensely funny. Aaron, the Russian and the parakeet- a quick exchange at a burger joint. Whatevs.

So, Katharina told us the birds first need to be ‘acquainted’ next to each other before they can be in a cage together. No prob. Grandma once again comes to the rescue and facilitates the “meeting.” All went well. We finally brought the birds home on Friday night. Whew!

OK, in all of the commotion between my dogs liking the look of these tasty morsels, my daughter running spastically in circles and my husband trying to clean up feathers… I first started to ask myself what I had gotten myself into. That is until the two jeweled beauties began chirping and singing away. I like to think it was due to their happiness at their new home. In reality, it could be that my mutt was jumping higher than I have ever seen him, making chomping motions the whole time.

So it was decided over the weekend that the birds were providing way too much of a temptation for the dogs and kiddo. They now have a nice home in our spare room. They were adjusting so well that I thought yesterday I would be a good “mommy” and release them for a little free time to fly around in the backroom. What a crock of &*%^ that was! I felt like I was in the starring role of a Hitchcock film. Too much space, too quick! I was able to cajole Sapphire back in to the cage after about a half an hour. Topaz, on the other hand, has proved to be a wild and insane creature. I finally had to call in back-up. Aaron rushed to my rescue, and the two of us ran around like mad men trying to get the darn feather duster back in his cage. Finally, after he had a minor collision with the wall, he proved to be mobile. But, his crash didn’t injure his biting abilities. He hung on to that part of Aaron’s hand (you know the skin part between your thumb and index finger) so hard, I thought Aaron was going to have a new piercing. I was laughing. Aaron was not.

That is the longest short summary you’ll read on how folks acquire parakeets. That has only been week 1. Week 2 brings the need for me to purchase a parakeet taming book, and a few face masks. Oh yeah, that’s the other part. My daughter and I seem to have wild allergies to these little darlings. The joy!

Thank you so much, Summer, for your post! I am still laughing so hard just thinking about your story, and yes, peeing my pants just a tiny bit, too.


Egghead said...

This has me laughing. I half expected the bird to die after hitting the wall. Oh and the "Aaron, the Russian and the parakeet- a quick exchange at a burger joint" is hilarious. Did they wear trench coats and hats pulled down over one eye?

Kristi said...

Oh my word, that is too funny!! That's the kind of stuff that happens to me...crazy!!

Jill said...

Oh Good Lord, Summer is hysterical! What a writer! I still can't stop giggling at this sentence: "In reality, it could be that my mutt was jumping higher than I have ever seen him, making chomping motions the whole time." ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! And poor Aaron's hand--I bet a belly button ring would fit nicely right there!!! ha ha ha ha! It's no wonder you love this girl so much, Shauna! Does she have a blog that I don't know about...? hint hint...