1.21.2009

dear lane bryant

Dear Lane Bryant,

Thank you for hiring Kathleen at the Tanasbourne store. She is a gem and didn't make me cry while trying on jeans. In fact, she made me smile.

Thank you for making good looking jeans that fit me! And thanks for having jeans that aren't too long, making me look like a toddler wearing her mom's clothes. I appreciate that.

A big shout out for making me a size 2 in your store. I owe ya one. And crazy big thanks for not plastering 'Lane Bryant' on the back of my jeans. And hello - I love that the tag reads '2' and not '2 in big girl jeans'.

Thank you for hiding the muffin top!! And thank you for saying I have nice curves. I haven't heard that in a long time. Wait. Was I supposed to tip you for saying that? Sorry.

Thank you for dealing with me trying on all the jeans and doing power squats in front of the mirror. Thank you for not throwing me and my toddler out on the curb when we starting fighting over goldfish crackers.

Thank you for putting this great piece of denim over my curvy butt, and for making me feel like a rock star.

Thank you, Lane Bryant, thank you.


6 comments:

Kearsie said...

Dude. I TOTALLY get this. Totally.

Summer said...

You've taken all of my feelings on this and wrapped them into a neat little package. Thank YOU for being so awesome and wonderful!

Sara said...

you should send them a copy of this letter, word for word.

Kristi said...

I agree!! You should totally send them this!!

I love you!! You rock :)

w said...

i have nothing to add.

i am just another one of your groupies here to agree with every word you say and laugh at all your jokes.

and i realize that - after reading this post - you and kearsie belong together.

i shall remain on the outside. looking in. longing to be by the fire. but instead, standing in the snow. that will hopefully, not turn yellow.

Jill said...

Shauna. I love you. You make me laugh so freakin' hard, I almost shart myself. Thank you for this, you funny girl!