Dear Lady outside of Target,
Hi cutie. Thank you so much for choosing to shake all the raindrops off your umbrella right in my face, while I was less than 2 feet away from you. How'd you know I was having a hot flash and a contraction? You mind-reader, you. Also, thank you for ignoring my scowl after you doused me in water. I hope your umbrella is super dry.
Pssst: Umbrella picture found here.