2.12.2010

will it come to this?!

According to the geniuses at WebMD and legend, when a pregnant Plains Indian woman was near term and showed no sign of going into labor, tribe members would tie her to a rock in an open field and stage a mock "attack," pulling up their horses only at the very last minute, in hopes of inducing labor. The Pilgrims, for their part, would stand women whose babies were late against a pole, strap them to it, and pound the pole up and down against the ground -- apparently hoping to shake the baby loose.

This really got me thinking. What would scare this baby out of me, if I saw it charging towards me:
  • Carrot Top
  • a clown
  • a raccoon with rabies
  • Birdman
  • Mike Ditka
  • anyone on a unicycle
It also got me to thinking who I'd like to tie to a pole and pound against the ground, but I'll keep that list private, for now.

7 comments:

Jenny Bunny said...

Dude.... This made me snort.

But, I'm sorry the kiddo isn't ready to leave the oven!

Kevin said...

Blieve you could charge a danged ol rat terrier at me and, why, I'd just about have a baby. They make me nervous when they charge me. Or just drop me in a twister -- centrifugal force and whatnot.

w said...

that lady stacy. from "what not to wear" could scare the baby out. and if she ever does come close enough to you to do that, lemme know. i want to kick her.

sassypackrat said...

OMG! Too funny! A gang of Mimes or scary clowns would make me drop my uterus package!

Natalie said...

Um, I can't believe Unicycle didn't win.

Jill said...

Carrot Top. 'Nuff said. That dude seriously scares the squirts out of me, he's so fugly. Oh, and Robert Saks of the mattress company. Ever since Marie made the comment about seeing him at Red Robin, I can't stop thinking about his creepy child molester toupee. A combination of the two should do the trick...

Oh, and swallowing half a bottle of castor oil, then going on a long walk might jog the baby a bit. I tried it with Byron and oooooh, the worst part was trying to make it back home before I juiced my drawers! Serious contractions all over the place then! ;o) Ok, don't try that one.

Carrie Hutchings said...

Seriously made me laugh. I hope Carsten decides to make his move soon.