4.15.2010

dirty little secrets

I don't even know how to start this confession. I think I'll just come right out and say it...

I fantasize about having a minivan. I'm not sure if they turn me on or not, but they are on my mind quite often - more than I'd ever want to admit.

Readers? Are you still there?! Did I offend you? Are you shocked and/or appalled? Well, let me explain. (Not that I have to justify myself and my secrets to you!!).

Okay, so I adore my Subaru Legacy Outback Sport. I love it's sleek silver beauty, it's soccer mom-ish wagon body and I like that it doesn't look like a minivan, at all. I just don't think minivans look right. Don't ask why, but that's just how I feel.

I love my Subaru, HOWEVER... if you find me in a parking lot, leaning into my car at an awkward angle, you will also see me watching the mom in the minivan parked next to me, watching with jealous, envious eyes. Let's learn why...

  • The minivan's allure comes from a door that opens for you. It's like a gentleman saying, "Here, ma'am, (or milf), let me get this door for you, because I see your hands are full." My Subaru doesn't do that.
  • The minivan is the perfect height. I see moms standing up while they buckle their children into their car seats. They don't have to lean at an awkward angle and heave their child into their seat, whilst trying to keep their jeans up in the back so they don't show all of the Target parking lot their g-string.
  • The minivan can hold a BOB Revolution double jogging stroller (my dream!), and you still have room to fit yourself, and the children (without having to tie them to your roof-rack). My Subaru can't even fit the Chicco stroller inside, let alone a jogging stroller, and yeah right even thinking about a double jogging stroller. Ugh, it's my Subaru's fault I can't get skinny, because the damn stroller WON'T. GO. IN.
I will never drive a minivan, on principle. I will forever lust after the minivan in my mind, but will not succumb to temptation, because what would happen to me next? I'm not hip or with-it to begin with, I have no room to mess this up - my son already wants to sit the row in front of me at the theater, and he's THREE.

Anyway, that's my not-so-secret-now dirty little secret. Are you judging me? Or did I just hurt your feelings because you rock a minivan? I still like you. Hell, I'm jealous of you.

3 comments:

Amber said...

You're so domestic. Mini vans are not the official state car of OR, so stick with the subaru.

Much More Than Mommy said...

I have no qualms professing my love of minivans and I cannot WAIT to get one!!! I may have even wanted one before I had kids. Your reasons are the same as mine, plus I just *look* like I'm meant to be driving one.

Carrie Hutchings said...

I rock a minivan and I love it for the reasons you stated. :)