keyboard confessions: volume 1

Keyboard Confessions is not my idea, but I'm going to use it anyway, because I think the best way to compliment someone is by stealing their idea. Or just borrowing it and giving them a shout-out and some credit. You may also find awesome Keyboard Confessions from Kearsie of Sounds Like Tomatoes and from Amber of What The French, Toast.

I like lists and I am very random, so this is right up my alley. Let's begin.

1. No matter what the situation or who I am with, I will say "that's what she said" after an applicable sentence. Example: Friend: "It was stuck. I kept tugging and pulling, but it wouldn't come out". Me: "That's what she said!" zing.

2. I know that I have the same sense of humor as a swearing 5 year old. Sorry. No, wait, I'm not sorry. I'm only sorry that you don't find poop, pee and fart jokes worth a laugh.

3. I pick my nose using my thumb. I pinch the outside of my nostril, thumb in nose and pointer finger on the outside of nose. That's my technique.

4. Funny how I won't let my almost 4 year old pick his nose though. It's probably to get back at him for not letting me pick his fingernails. Don't ask.

5. Every time I get a manicure the lady makes fun of me. I guess I have really small fingernails. She always asks "where you want me to paint? you nails so leeeeetle". I get it, that means you make just as much for doing LESS work. Paint them and keep quiet.

6. I've finally conquered my orphan sock phobia. I have a cute basket I keep them in, and I don't just let them sit there. I match them to their long lost mates every once in awhile. And I don't gag when I touch them anymore, well, unless they're covered in dog hair from hiding under the bed.

7. Even though we re-homed our dog Maddie to my best friend and her family in Eugene about a month or so ago, I still come home and look for her sometimes. Taylor has to remind me she's no longer here. I wonder what will happen when my kids go away to college.

8. My son is watching a Strawberry Shortcake DVD from the library. I wonder about him sometimes, but at least he's taking a break from Fresh Beat Band.

9. I'm becoming an earring lover. And not just my normal diamond earring studs. I am liking dangle earrings! And I just bought some amazing ones from Jenny Bunny, and I can't wait to see them in my ears. Also found some fun ones at Target the other day. I can't stop thinking about decorating my ears.

10. I told my husband last night that he can choose our new car and I don't want to even think about it or make any decisions. I question myself sometimes.

11. Soon I'll get my nose pierced. I wonder if it'll make me look like I'm trying to be younger. It's not like I'm wearing a Hello Kitty shirt at the same time, so I think I'll be okay.

12. If I squish my stomach together I can make it look like a dimply baby butt. I can't wait to get my body back. And I bet Hubs would like me to stop showing him my stomach trick. I'm guessing it's not as sexy as I was hoping it would be.

13. How long am I supposed to do this list? Like what number do I go until?

14. All I ever wanna wear is jeans and a fun t-shirt and flips. I wasn't meant to dress up. I just wasn't. I think I'm fine with this now.

15. I'm done until next week. I'll miss you. See you tomorrow for Factual Friday!



Kearsie said...

Oh my gosh, you have to stop being so awesome or I'll totally have a girly crush on you. Seriously. Stop it. Write something to make me not like you so I can find some balance.

*tucking one more thing in my Shauna envelope*

Shauna said...

I once kicked a puppy? not true, but maybe that'll help you from falling madly in love with me. also, I fart under the covers and in the car, and when it's in the car, I lock the windows so Trask can't get fresh air.

Kearsie said...

Sometimes, I poot and then look at my shoes to act like that strange noise came from my Yellow Box.

Much More Than Mommy said...

I like how you gave Kearsie and Amber the shout outs, because you know that FRIENDS GIVE FRIENDS A HAND (a real helping hand).

Anonymous said...

Shauna! I love that you're confessing now. Yippee! Ok, you and I are also very much alike cause a)I use the same nose picking technique b)I love bodily fluid jokes c)I love earrings too and it was a new phenom in my life about a year ago or so d) i want to get my nose pierced too e)I love tshirts and jeans!!!

You rock and maybe I should start my own shauna envelope!

Anonymous said...

oh... and I totally fart in the car. We have contests when we take week long road trips (be on the look out for the results of the upcoming Yellostone edition)... and I usually win!

Jill said...

I totally used to pick my nose the same way as a kid! Now I use the index finger, it just feels right.

I'm not allowed to fart around Wade, so if it happens, he'd rather I pretend it didn't instead of saying "Excuse me". I love your confessions!