keyboard confessions: volume 3

Keyboard Confessions is not my idea, but I'm going to use it anyway, because I think the best way to compliment someone is by stealing their idea. Or just borrowing it and giving them a shout-out and some credit. You may also find awesome Keyboard Confessions from Kearsie of Sounds Like Tomatoes and from Amber of What The French, Toast.

I like lists and I am very random, so this is right up my alley. Let's begin. This is Keyboard Confessions: Volume 3.

1. I just read Amber's Keyboard Confessions and got all excited because like Amber, I used to feed my boogers to Maddie, our rat terrier, as well. And don't judge me, she loved them! Taylor would feed his boogs to her, as well. We miss having her around here, and not just because we have to use more tissues.

2. I wash my hands a lot, so don't be scared of giving me high fives or anything.

3. It seems like I can't stop talking about boogers, but I'll try.

4. Taylor keeps asking for another little brother or little sister. I'm sure he thinks I'll soon move my family out to the country, wear long jean skirts and jumpers and start wearing socks with sandals, with my hair in a long braid. NO MORE BABIES, Taylor.

5. I think it's time that my hubs and I have 'the talk.' The talk about seeing Dr. Snippity Snip. Because I can handle 2 kids and still be an awesome mom, but I'm afraid what a third child would cause me to become.

6. Since I'm done making babies, I'm now going to be the creepy lady who stares and coos at other babies in public. This is fair, because I can't tell you all the weird things people do and say to my children when we're out, especially Carsten.

7. Threw away all my cotton grandma undies. There's no need for them anymore. I'm replacing all of them with expensive undies that don't have a lot of material involved. Finally maybe Allison won't make fun of my Granny Panties.

8. The word 'panties' makes me want to gag. It makes my skin crawl. So do the words: moist, pulp, ointment, uvula and discharge.

9. Now that the sun is out, the ugly people can trick everyone. This happens like this: sometimes someone can look very attractive with sunglasses on, but once they're off, you want to jump back and scream in shock. This happened to me once on a vacation in high school. After a few hours of flirting with the guy leading the boat tour in Kauai, he takes his glasses off at the end of the tour... and I realized I wasted a good portion of my afternoon. Hate that!

10. If I'm having an 'ugly day', I like to trick people and wear my sunglasses. I like to make them feel like fools.

11. This weekend I'm walking the 4.5 mile Mayor's Walk at the Butte to Butte in Eugene, my hometown. Wonder at what mile I'll die of blisters.

12. I'm strangely attracted to Greg Giraldo on Last Comic Standing. I know we'd 'get along' nicely. I just know these things. Something about that face hair, those arm tattoos and that he's so sarcastic - delicious.

13. Anyone have any requests for what you want me to confess?

14. Did I really just ask you all that?

15. I'm out. Time to tend to the sick big boy - juice and movies and cuddles from mama, as I think about killing every chipmunk on Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeekquel.

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