6.29.2010

[oceanside, oregon]

Happiness is a spontaneous drive to Oceanside to play in the sand on a warm June day.


He doesn't like the sand or anything, does he!? He was born to be on the beach, like his mommy and daddy. Good thing we're only an hour away.

This post was brought to you in response to Leigh vs. Laundry and The Happiness Project. Go share what makes you happy!



Photobucket

6.25.2010

It's Factual Friday, Y'all

Factual Friday: random facts, brought to you each and every Friday... starting NOW!

70 out of 100 people admit to picking their boogers. Out of those 7 people, 3 people admit to eating their boogers. (I've NEVER eaten a booger - even I have to draw the line somewhere).

Eating boogers isn't necessarily bad for you because it can strengthen your immune system. However, using your finger that has germs and bacteria on it to retrieve the booger is not healthy. All the icky stuff on your fingers is going inside your nose. It is also not healthy to later put that finger in your mouth.

Boogers come in all kinds of textures, colors, and sizes. They can be green, squishy, and blobby. They can be brown, dry, and crumbly. (which type is your favorite!?)

It is also possible to get boogers in your eye. That's right, eye boogers! Sometimes in the morning, you might wake up with some build up (made of mucus, dust, tear, and dead skin cells) in the corners of your eyes. Some people call this "sleep" or "crusties", but the medical term is rheum. As with your nose boogers, eye boogers can also vary in texture, color, and size. If you have allergies or an eye infection, you could have more eye boogers.

The riveting and life-changing information you just read was found here.

6.24.2010

keyboard confessions: volume 2

Keyboard Confessions is not my idea, but I'm going to use it anyway, because I think the best way to compliment someone is by stealing their idea. Or just borrowing it and giving them a shout-out and some credit. You may also find awesome Keyboard Confessions from Kearsie of Sounds Like Tomatoes and from Amber of What The French, Toast.

I like lists and I am very random, so this is right up my alley. Let's begin. This is Keyboard Confessions: Volume 2.

1. I am feeling like a grown up today. We get to go sign the papers for our new car. Well, new to us car. But it's the newest car we've ever had. Not sure if being a grown up is super cool or if it sucks. It's a 2009 Honda Element. And if you make fun of me, I'll either cry or lash out and punch you in the crotch.

2. To counter-act the 'grown up feeling' I just had, I just told Taylor to pull my finger. You know the rest. And if you don't know the rest... who do you think you are?!

3. Just discovered Chex honey-nut flavor cereal that is gluten-free. I can't tell you how very happy this makes me. I keep thinking about the next time I can have some (that's what she said [twss]).

4. I have really neglected my lemon drop blog. I'm kinda constipated in the brain with good blog post ideas. Any ideas for me??

5. I'm growing out my hair. Not sure how long this will last, but that's my goal. Also, I cut myself some bangs all by myself a few weeks ago, and you can tell I did it myself. I suck.

6. Really wish my hair was curly. If I just let my hair air-dry, it dries kinda wavy, but not a good kind of wave. Just makes me look horrible. My hair has been rotten lately. I have roots and need to go back to my natural hair color. Wonder what that is!?

7. I'm kinda boring myself as I type this... maybe I should tell you guys something juicy.

8. One time in the summer of 2005 I shared a toilet with a girl. We went at the same time. I was dry when I was done. Not sure about her. This was after too many drinks at Darcelle's show for my sister in law's bachelorette party. I guess I couldn't hold it long enough to wait 60 seconds. Also, I didn't know her.

9.
Funny how the only time I can walk in heels is when I've been drinking. I stick to flip-flops and water these days.

10. After reading #8, do you still want to be my friend?!

11. My girl-crush is Heather Armstrong (Dooce). Who's yours?

smooches,
Shauna

6.22.2010

time with great grandpa

Happiness is seeing my son's face light up when his Great Grandpa holds him, and knowing that his Grandpa is smiling just as big.



This post was brought to you in response to
Leigh vs. Laundry and The Happiness Project. Go share what makes you happy!

Photobucket

6.18.2010

It's Factual Friday, Y'all

Factual Friday: random facts, brought to you each and every Friday... starting NOW!

You cannot snore and dream at the same time. (this means the Hubs must rarely dream! seems like he's always snoring).

Adults dream off and on, for a total of about an hour and half to three hours every night.

About 80% of neonatal and newborn sleep time is REM sleep, suggesting a tremendous amount of time dreaming. (I really want to know what Carsten dreams about!)

Feet in dreams can symbolize everything from sex to humiliation. They can also represent mobility, freedom, or a foundation. (what about humiliating sex?! - it happens).

The riveting and life-changing information you just read was found here.

6.17.2010

keyboard confessions: volume 1

Keyboard Confessions is not my idea, but I'm going to use it anyway, because I think the best way to compliment someone is by stealing their idea. Or just borrowing it and giving them a shout-out and some credit. You may also find awesome Keyboard Confessions from Kearsie of Sounds Like Tomatoes and from Amber of What The French, Toast.

I like lists and I am very random, so this is right up my alley. Let's begin.

1. No matter what the situation or who I am with, I will say "that's what she said" after an applicable sentence. Example: Friend: "It was stuck. I kept tugging and pulling, but it wouldn't come out". Me: "That's what she said!" zing.

2. I know that I have the same sense of humor as a swearing 5 year old. Sorry. No, wait, I'm not sorry. I'm only sorry that you don't find poop, pee and fart jokes worth a laugh.

3. I pick my nose using my thumb. I pinch the outside of my nostril, thumb in nose and pointer finger on the outside of nose. That's my technique.

4. Funny how I won't let my almost 4 year old pick his nose though. It's probably to get back at him for not letting me pick his fingernails. Don't ask.

5. Every time I get a manicure the lady makes fun of me. I guess I have really small fingernails. She always asks "where you want me to paint? you nails so leeeeetle". I get it, that means you make just as much for doing LESS work. Paint them and keep quiet.

6. I've finally conquered my orphan sock phobia. I have a cute basket I keep them in, and I don't just let them sit there. I match them to their long lost mates every once in awhile. And I don't gag when I touch them anymore, well, unless they're covered in dog hair from hiding under the bed.

7. Even though we re-homed our dog Maddie to my best friend and her family in Eugene about a month or so ago, I still come home and look for her sometimes. Taylor has to remind me she's no longer here. I wonder what will happen when my kids go away to college.

8. My son is watching a Strawberry Shortcake DVD from the library. I wonder about him sometimes, but at least he's taking a break from Fresh Beat Band.

9. I'm becoming an earring lover. And not just my normal diamond earring studs. I am liking dangle earrings! And I just bought some amazing ones from Jenny Bunny, and I can't wait to see them in my ears. Also found some fun ones at Target the other day. I can't stop thinking about decorating my ears.

10. I told my husband last night that he can choose our new car and I don't want to even think about it or make any decisions. I question myself sometimes.

11. Soon I'll get my nose pierced. I wonder if it'll make me look like I'm trying to be younger. It's not like I'm wearing a Hello Kitty shirt at the same time, so I think I'll be okay.

12. If I squish my stomach together I can make it look like a dimply baby butt. I can't wait to get my body back. And I bet Hubs would like me to stop showing him my stomach trick. I'm guessing it's not as sexy as I was hoping it would be.

13. How long am I supposed to do this list? Like what number do I go until?

14. All I ever wanna wear is jeans and a fun t-shirt and flips. I wasn't meant to dress up. I just wasn't. I think I'm fine with this now.

15. I'm done until next week. I'll miss you. See you tomorrow for Factual Friday!

smooches,
Shauna

6.16.2010

the post where I gross some readers out. also known as Carsten's Birth Story. also known as the postest with the mostest grossest.

Before I start writing Carsten's birth story, let's start with a bit of 'practice'. This practice will help determine if you are able to read the rest of this post, or if you are better off skipping this one and waiting for the next post.

So the practice is: VAGINA.

Does reading this word make you squirm? Does it paint horrible images in your brain? If the word VAGINA has you cringing, I'm doing you an immense favor and telling you to stop reading now. Save yourself. If you LOVE the word, that's weird, too, but I'll let you read about it anyway. And if you can read it without feeling a chill and wanting to hurl, then you're most likely safe to proceed with the rest of this story.

Another fair warning. I'm not going to make this birth story all fluffy and magical by saying a beautiful bundle of joy gently appeared from my loins - I'm going to say it like it was. So if you're weak or not up for it, or if you're lame, just skip this post and pretend like you didn't see it.

Friday, February 26th I was supposed to call the hospital at 6:30 AM and see if they had a bed for me or not at the hospital. They were planning to induce. I called and was told there wasn't room for me, but to go to my original 'gina doc (OB) appointment since it was scheduled. I went to that appointment hoping and praying that when she looked down there I'd have a baby hanging on for dear life and ready to drop into her arms.

I lay on the table, already bummed that I wasn't just in a hospital bed spitting a baby from between my legs, but I remained calm and let the doctor check me. I was dilated to a whopping 1-1/2 cm. Big whoop. I had been like that since week 36. I woo the doctor with some jokes, and she takes her skinny ass fingers and violates me some more, trying to 'scratch my membranes', causing my body to go into labor, since she said if I was in labor, they couldn't deny me a bed.

Now I know she was TRYING to help get contractions started by scratching my membranes, but I felt violated and it hurt like a bitch. It felt like I was having sex with the head of a unicorn, and not the kind with soft horns, but more like with a unicorn that sharpened his head stick with a knife blade sharpener, getting ready for a unicorn battle. I got all tense and told her to stop it! She asked if I wanted to go into labor, and I proceeded to tell her to knock that off, and I didn't want the baby out that bad! She stopped. Only because I used our 'safety' word. Our safety word is "knock it the f*** off!". She listened. She almost always does.

So I left my appointment with the instructions to call Saturday morning to see if the hospital was ready for my birth canal. I spent the rest of Friday playing with Taylor, bossing my mom around, making Hubs a tad miserable with my whining, and also napping quite a lot.

Flash forward to Saturday morning. BAM. It's Saturday morning. I slept well and woke up ready to bribe the head nurse into letting me in. I called at 6:30 and they told me to call at 10 when the day-time head nurse got there. At 9:59 AM I called and checked with the supreme head nurse. She told me to get there as soon as I could, because there was a bed ready!

I wasn't really expecting there to be a room available, so I was a little stunned. I told Hubs to get our bags and we were going. My mom thought I was joking, because usually the first sentence I always speak is a lie or a joke, followed by a little truth, and then followed by sarcasm and more jokes and lies. I wasn't kidding around, mom, a baby was coming out of my vagina TODAY! I gave Taylor and my mom lovies and away we went, the 15 or 20 minute ride to the hospital awaited us. I was thankful I had showered and shaved, so my baby wouldn't come out of me thinking it was a slum, but more like a well-maintained yard with a view. First impressions are huge.

I got to the hospital and was checked into my room by 10:40 AM. I was excited to get the room with hardwood floors. Blood looks so pretty against the grain of hardwood. (that's what she said).

My first nurse was amazing. We'll call her NURSEY to protect her identity. She has been a nurse at the hospital for 33 years, and she was fantastic. She laughed at all my jokes, and believe me, I kept them coming. She let me order FOOD because I was hungry and just made us feel at home. We weren't nervous, just wanted to meet the dang baby that had made me SO sick the whole pregnancy. And we wanted the baby to meet us, his awesome parents. He's so lucky.

By noon, I think, I had Pitocin (made of horse semen, mind you), running into me via my IV in my hand. I was having contractions at pretty regular intervals, and Hubs and I were sitting on the bed playing Uno. I was in one of the sexiest hospital gowns ever, with pastel geometric shapes, kinda like the graphic effects some dudes put on the side of their Dodge Neons. I was feeling so hot. Like sexy hot, not too warm hot. My doctor came in to check on me and told me I wasn't hurting enough, so she turned up the Pitocin a bunch. Because she likes to make me writhe around in pain.

Oh, and NURSEY was WAY better at checking my VAGINA to see how my CERVIX was dilating. It was like being taken to a nice lobster dinner first and having some nice beer, as apposed to when my 'gina doc checked me, it was like being fisted by Andre the Giant. I'm pretty sure when my vagina sensed 'gina doc coming, it closed up like a clam shell. Ahem. Anyway.

At about 3:00, my doctor broke my bag of waters. I wish they didn't call it that, because calling it waters is deceiving. They should call it egg flower soups. All chunky and nasty, and warm and gooey. I hated having it broke because it was slow gushes all the time, and felt like I was peeing myself. A bit later I was checked by my nurse and my 'gina doctor and was complimented on my amazing and impressive BLOODY SHOW. Ack! I've never been complimented for bleeding and oozing out of my vagina. I really feel like they were building up my confidence, and it worked. I held my head higher and felt proud of how great of a bleeder my vagina was.

This whole time I was telling inappropriate jokes, making gross and amazingly astute observations and just basically had all of the staff laughing at me. If you don't believe me, ask my husband. I just couldn't turn the damn funny off. I was on. I was on and I was hilarious.

Finally at about 6:00pm the contractions were hurting pretty bad and I wasn't getting any sort of break in between them. I had declined drugs over and over and over again, I just wanted to get straight to the epidural and shoot this baby out of my crotch. Also, the Portland Trailblazer game was about to come on, and there was no way I was going to miss it. I had Hubs turn on the game and had NURSEY go get me the guy who would poke me in the back with sharp long needles and charge me $2,000.

When it was time to do the epidural, my contractions were coming hard and fast, and I was saying a lot of words like 'bitch' and 'whore' and 'F', but never in front of NURSEY, she was too sweet. She told me she's heard every word ever, but I didn't want to disappoint her. She was like Mrs. Claus. They had me sit on the bed, with my legs hanging over the side, and my sweet husband there to support me as I bent and exposed my spine. I had my head turned so I could still watch the game. Priorities, you know. The nurse was there too, to help me out. The whole time I thought I was going to pass out because it hurt so bad, and I was feeling so faint. The poker from behind had to redo the epidural, but once I was set up and in business, I was doing better. And if memory serves me correctly, the Blazers were winning.

Once I had my epidural, I did lots of napping. I'd wake up and see Hubs on his phone, playing a fishing game that I thought was retarded, so I'd go back to sleep. All of a sudden I woke up and knew it was time to push. We got the night nurse. We'll call her NIGHT NURSE and she was equally as awesome, and she laughed at all my jokes, too. Double awesome.

My doctor was next door helping another slow poke try to deliver a baby, but the doctor said it was okay to start pushing with NIGHT NURSE. So I started pushing at about 10:45 PM. I pushed, and pushed. I told jokes, and some more jokes, even with the stupid oxygen mask on. That didn't stop me, it just made my voice sound cool. Between pushing and pooping on the table, I was trying to will this baby out of me. I was told that if he didn't have his head cocked and all funky, I would have had him out in 3 pushes. But he decided it would be fun to wreak havoc on my under-carriage. He'd show his head a bit and it'd go back in. He was playing peek a boo, only it wasn't cute or funny. At one point they had me try to reach down and feel his head. I exclaimed "oh gosh, he has tons of hair" and the nurse replies "no, you're touching yourself". Zing. One point for the nurse.


Eventually I pushed Carsten out. His whole precious body popped out at 11:41 PM. They put him on my belly and cleaned him up and Hubs cut the cord. I was happy he was out of me. And I was so proud when the doctor told me I didn't tear my vagina. But she said I bruised my vagina. I wanted to see what that looked like, but figured she wanted to go home. I quickly got my 8 lb 12 oz baby boy taken away from me because he had swallowed so much amniotic fluid during delivery, he needed to go to the nursery. Hubs followed. I was high. I had the biggest adrenaline rush ever. I felt so strong and amazing. I was sweating liquid gold, I was so amazing. And then I barfed. And I barfed some more. I had the shakes like crazy and puked my lemon lime jello. And then I went back to feeling awesome.

I wasn't even sure how much Carsten weighed or how long he was, and I was just sitting in the bed waiting for Hubs to come back with him. Night Nurse was hanging out with me in the room, and nursery nurse called me on the phone to tell me Carsten's stats. I can't believe I popped a baby out of my vag. I didn't with Taylor, he had to be vacuumed out, so I was feeling triumphant.

Then I met Carsten again. And he was awesome. It was lovely to see my husband holding our second baby boy. And it was so neat to see Carsten all cleaned up. He wasn't a crier at all. And his curls. His curls were amazing. Like Carrot Top's, only not red, and he didn't have an ugly face like Mr. Top. I was starving, and I didn't want an effing dry turkey sammich. So my NIGHT NURSE brought Hubs and I in some pizza that was in the staff break room. And cookies. She was awesome. She complimented me with the best compliment ever. She said I was the funniest patient in all her years of nursing. SHAZAM. That only encouraged me to keep joking around.

Who knows what time it was when we went to bed, or when we slept, because the rest of the time in the hospital is a blur. I remember feeling proud for pooping on my own, and I remember a LOT of breast feeding and NO sleep. I remember hating the hospital bed, but loving the food. I fondly remember my mom bringing Taylor to visit, and seeing my boys look at one another for the first time, and it really hitting home that I am the lucky mom of two amazing boys that bless my life every day.

I guess to end this post I'll tell you the two biggest things I've learned from this. 1., being a mom to 2 boys is amazing. I couldn't be happier or feel more complete. 2., I'm scared to google image search "VAGINA BRUISE", but I kind of want to. Dare me?

6.14.2010

15 weeks


Carsten turned 15 weeks on Saturday and he's constantly a reminder to me to live in the present. Time is flying by, and this is our last baby, so I'm doing my best to cherish each moment and not worry about tomorrow, next week or next month. Time is cruising and apparently it's not waiting for me to be okay with that!


Carsten loves the sound of his voice. He loves to talk, especially to Trask and his Great Grandpa Rogers, and his big brother Taylor. He is full of smiles, and his dimples melt me. He even has dimples when he's upset. I just want to eat his cheeks, at least small nibbles. He is rolling over onto his tummy, where he prefers to be. He also thinks he can go from laying on his back to sitting straight up. I think he's self-conscious about his tummy and knows that swimming-suit season is here. Although I'm not sure if he should worry about his tummy when his thighs are so amazingly gooey and plump, like mine. He's wearing 9 month clothes - beast.

Oh, and he sleeps through the night. He really does. He will go to bed around 8:30 or 9, and will wake up at like 5 or 5:30 to eat, and then back to bed until 6 or 7. LOVE IT! And I deserve this, because Taylor didn't come close to doing this until he was THREE YEARS OLD.


We hope you guys have a great week, and I'll try real hard to do the birth story blog post this week, as well. The details are already so fuzzy, all I do know is that I had the whole room in stitches from laughing so much, I was ON. I wasn't cranky or crying, I was coming up with the funniest material ever. Wish I could do that still.

Talk soon about mucous plugs, bag of waters and a bruised vagina - I know you're all excited!! You've been warned.

6.11.2010

It's Factual Friday, Y'all


Factual Friday: random facts, brought to you each and every Friday... starting NOW!

In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden... and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

Bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers actually have something in common. They were all invented by women.

Conception occurs more often in December than any other month. (I assume it's to stay warm!)


The riveting and life-changing information you just read was found here.

6.04.2010

It's Factual Friday, Y'all

Factual Friday: random facts, brought to you each and every Friday... starting NOW!

This Friday's facts are all about Rue McClanahan, a wonderful gal that we all lost too soon. You all probably love her from Golden Girls, you know, the slutty one, but I know and love her from Mama's Family (the best show ever made!), as Aunt Fran. RIP, Rue, love ya, girl!

  • Rue was a life long vegetarian and animal rights advocate. She was one of the first celebrities to support PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.
  • McClanahan made appearances in more than 100 television shows and movies, including “Boy Meets World,” “Law & Order” and “King of the Hill.
  • As one of the most popular students at Ardmore High School, she was voted “Most Likely to Succeed” by her peers.
  • Rue made her first professional stage debut at Pennsylvania’s Erie Playhouse in 1957 in “Inherit the Wind.”
The riveting and life-changing information you just read was found here.

6.02.2010

rainy days



It may be June and pouring down rain outside, but we're happy and healthy and enjoying our mini-watermelons indoors for now!!